publically private emotions

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there's a problem when i
contemplate what life would be like
without you...
there is a problem when you can't answer the
question, "how do you remain in love with me".
there is a problem when the majority of our conversation is
non-existent...full of senselessness just to remain of the
line to somehow, in spite of the 362 miles between us,
i feel closer.
there is a problem that i can never talk about
for i fear that i may lose you over a "one-or-two day emotion"
that is this entry...
my future is at risk
and my heart has lost some of the spark it once contained
it is an ash grey colour that has yet to revive to its crimson
i want that back so badly, and am willing to try anything for it...
i feel so sad at times that you have no idea that this emotion even exists and is masked
behind forced 'i love you's '...it should not ever come to that,
i am aware that love takes patience, but this is unbearable at times
three days a months is not enough...it will never be enough and
it sucks to have to settle for it.

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