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Oh, how this statement plagues me.
It's such a curse.
I wish I could be one of those super care free birds
that are just able to simply be.
Actually, I used to be this. In college of course. When I lacked a curfew, bills, & responsibility. 
Don't get me wrong... I love my life and am so 
grateful for every morsel of it, 
but do you ever get to a place where you 
step outside of yourself and say,
"Self, is that really you ??"
There is so much pent up inside that, from a creative perspective, 
that is not able to be released yet. 
Try sticking an elephant in an aquarium....
Yup, that sums up my sentiments.
(Confined, Unorthodox, and Almost drowning but thankful for a trunk)

It's a weird place to be.
I have people that I interact with daily that are not active in this lovely community that oh & ah and marvel at projects that I have done and the mere fact that I have a blog & shoppe. 
I am not at the level as some of my online Inspirettes, 
as I call them, and can only imagine 
their plight and pressure to be consistent when they may very well just want to curl up and go to sleep. 
I don't know if many realize the work that it takes 
to keep up a curtain of 
transparency all while trying to knock down the 
brick wall of comparison and competition. 
This space was never intended to be anymore than a "journal" or my 
inspiration dossier that was kept a lot neater than 
the binders full of Vogue tear-outs. 
but has developed and matured into such a lovely project that I am so thankful to have. 
So, for now I will take small bites out of life. And push as much as I can into (r-ki-tekt) 
and wear as much color within the week as 
I can to keep my eyes healthy.
(yes, wearing polka dots, stripes, and brights is like cardio for the eyes of a designer)
I am trying to formulate a mini bucket list of things I need to indulge in, participate in, or give into that with allow me to express myself legitimately without my husband personally delivering me back to my mother and asking for an exchange. 
I have a feeling this will include fear-facing bits like getting a tattoo and changing my hair a little with some color...overhauling my diet. Pasta is my frenemy for sure.
 If you have any suggestions on keeping your creativity motor running strong, drop me a comment. 
I'm open to anything. 

Hope you all have a great Tuesday!!!



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